I am a terrorist...

In response to:League Of Varied Extremism: L.O.V.E

2005-11-05T06:34:41+01:00

L.O.V.E. Alert! This is not a smoke screen!
Tonight, all over Britain and in some British Commonwealth countries homicidal extremists will get together to celebrate terrorism, the 400th Gunpowder Plot to blow up Parliament as a protest against anti-terrorist laws.
Anarchists (all those with initials GF) have been digging tunnels and fundraising for about six weeks in order to assassinate entire governments of Britain, Australia and New Zealand. (Warning: Instead of using a match or a candle it is advisable to use a torch to read the directions on the barrels of gunpowder.)
We look forward to blowing up the house while it is in session and seeing all the guys frying like sausage sizzles. This should help with your aims of building a better world.

Dawn

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-27T14:13:23+02:00

Glad to hear you find what you were looking for with G.R.I.N and H.U.M.P, that is, after all what this site is here for.

Sorry to hear about your setbacks but please do keep me informed. In particular I'd love to know exactly where and when you intend to martyr yourself so I can be as far away as possible!

(PS cheers D, this stuff is great ;) )

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-27T05:23:34+02:00

This recruitment business is such fun! After my initial welcome intro from H.U.M.P. I was inducted into G.R.I.N.

My dream of course is to become a human bomb and sacrifice myself for God and country.

I have seen at first hand that 'democracy comes our of the barrel of a gun', so I'm looking forward to shoving this down some throats of occupying insurgents in order to save future Muslim generations from 'insecurity and fear'.

Piled up on my desk are terrorist training manuals from:
Washington DC, WHISC Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation, Fort Benning, Georgia; Bosnia, Israel and Greece. The Greeks are all armed with Bouzoukis.

Unfortunately the London-based Securities Website that would have taught me about explosives and offered Islamic military training with 20% discount has just been shut down.

My second pile of militant training manuals are from al Qaeda terrorist training camps in: Lebanon, Kazakhstan, Russia, Azerbaijan, the Philippines, Iraq at Salman Pak, Afghanistan and Pakistan.

It was such bad luck though, that the wrath of Allah struck Pakistani terrorist training camps with massive earthquakes on Saturday 8 October.
D

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-26T22:38:34+02:00

The guys at H.U.M.P saw your comment Dawn and asked me to pass on this reply:

Such concerns are perfectly natural and exactly what we are hear for. You need someone who will sympathise with your situation and support you to your sudden, spectacular end.

With regards more technical concerns we recommend you contact our sister group G.R.I.N who also have an ad on this site. They can put you in touch with a group where your particular brand of hatred will fit right in and give you technical support.

PS As you're obviously a good friend of our host we'll happily give you 20% off you first introduction. ;)

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-26T06:18:50+02:00

Because death is an insignificant word for me I wish to share the dream of martyrdom with thousands of other fanatics looking to being indoctrinated.

Unfortunately I suffer from xenophobia, and must know that if I become a suicide bomber, will I be greeted in heaven by God, who will smile upon me?

And what if my weaponry fails, will I be sent to the prison camp in Guantanamo Bay? I really couldn't cope well with torture.

Dawn

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-22T20:22:47+02:00

Risky, but very clever

In response to:Help Under Martyrdom Pressure: H.U.M.P

2005-10-21T21:08:11+02:00

pushing the boundries, keep it up.

In response to:Campaign Against Religious Extremism: C.A.R.E

2005-10-20T20:21:02+02:00

It's not the religion, it's the twisted people that subvert it!

PS. Great blog! ;)

In response to:Gullible Reactionary Information Network: G.R.I.N

2005-10-07T08:01:06+02:00

Utterly brilliant :-x

In response to:Gullible Reactionary Information Network: G.R.I.N

2005-10-06T20:17:44+02:00

Clever but riskay blog Stoneleaf.
Rather you than me my son!

In response to:Conflict Helps Everyone Earn Revenue: C.H.E.E.R

2005-10-04T20:06:16+02:00

gets better, like it! respect!

In response to:Campaign Against Religious Extremism: C.A.R.E

2005-10-03T20:41:09+02:00

what does the dice say.... a 6.. yes I too want to be a terroristttttt...

"much deeper I'm a sleeper, waiting for the call up trip"